My Extended Family's Dynamics - Dad's Side

As most immigrants, I have extended family in the United States. One uncle of mine lives with his wife in Upland, about 40 miles from my parents' house. I also have two aunts (one single, the other married) who live in South Pasadena, less than 5 miles from my parents' place. They're all my dad's siblings.

My dad's family is very much into the family dinners where one of them shows up with a dessert and an unresolved childhood issue. As a result, I never get to see all four siblings together. My uncle has had words with my aunts at times, and they've also have had words with him too . . . so that they don't see each other very often.

My dad and mom have learned to be neutral and play the role of the Swiss in the family dynamics. After much trial and practice in the old country (where the dynamics were the same with the other siblings), my parents discovered the secret: Keep It to Yourself.

This simple policy allows them to visit everyone, share with them, enjoy great times of playing dominoes (a favorite of ours), and leave without leaving behind bruised egos or hurt feelings.

It's a good thing for all.